Another New Rule

I wrote previously about the common but totally random creation of new and comlicated rules at our office. Today came another one.

From now on, if MSB is on a phone call and someone else calls for her (we do not have voicemail or any automated way to take messages), we are supposed to write the caller's name, company, and message down on a piece of paper and walk it into her office so that she can look at it and decide whether or not to end her current call in favor of the new one. She wants this done for every call. "Even sales calls?" I asked. "Every call" is the answer. Ugh.

This means for such a call we are being told to collect the caller's name, company, email, phone number, and message. Write this down and walk it into her office. Walk back to our desk and send her an email containing all the collected information - but remember to delete our standard email signature on these messages because MSB finds it distracting. Yes, that process certainly makes sense IN AN OFFICE OF ONLY 5 PEOPLE.

Fucking shit, man.

Strain

Now, the preceding stories probably don't seem all that bad on the whole. I am not being physically abused, I am not being called "mentally retarded" as was a friend of mine at abohter job this week.

All in all, though, dealing with a person like this takes its toll. Day after day, you wait and wonder when it will all come crashing down. When is she (MSB) going to finally push me just far enough that I can't deal anymore?

It is the unpredictability that is that grinds at you the most. Yesterday she ordered Paul to do something and he said he didn't think it was a good use of their time. She said "I am not asking you, I am telling you to do it." Two hours later as he still worked on the assignment she asked him what he was doing and he showed her.

"That's stupid. It's a waste of time. Don't spend your time on that."

As I said earlier, it's a race to the end for the two of us now. . .

Imaginary Friends

This is one of the things that started me thinking there is an actual mental issue with MSB. She claims all the time to "know" people she considers important. Frequently she says these people are a "good friend" or "close friend" of hers. For example, if a client mentions Bank of America, she will say "Oh, I am really good friends with the CFO at Bank of America!"

The weird thing is that she tells us in the office the same thing - and we all know she is lying. Once she talked about the owner of a company who also happened to my friend's boss. She said that this guy "loved her" and that he had asked her several times when they could do a deal together. I asked my friend to ask his boss. His boss said he did not remember meeting her and has no memory of ever having heard of her.

She knew full well that my friend worked for this guy and still went ahead with the lie. I think she may actually believe her own fantasies.

Pay Checks

We only get paid once per month and the check is rarely on the first day of the month. Do you know how hard it is to plan your finances when you only get paid once per month and do not even know which day it will be?

Guess who is in charge of this process?

Miss American Pie

It's about 6 pm and she walks into her husband's office where a picture of the newly crowned Miss Universe is on the computer screen. "It's Miss America!" she exclaims. And then it starts. . .

She starts singing Don McLean's "American Pie,"

"A long, long time ago
I can still remember
How that music used to make me smile. . .

Through the first verse and chorus ("Bye, bye Miss American Pie, Drove my Chevy to the levee, but the leveee was dry"). Most of the second verse. Then another chorus. All loud enough for everyone in the office to hear.

No response from any other soul in the office. Then she just stops. As suddenly as it had begun, it was over.

Almost Forgot

At the end of the meeting she asks, "So what should our cheer be?"
"What do you mean?"
"We should do a cheer, you know, like a sports team, like 'Go. . . something!' "

Not a word from anyone. Just staring. She drops the subject.

Late Friday Meeting

I sent my wife a text late in the afternoon saying that I felt a late meeting coming on. I was right. Ugh. 6:58 pm - "Can we have a quick update meeting with the whole team? I promise it won't take more than three minutes."

Actual meeting conversation:
"What have you been up to today?"
"Working on the updates for our website" is the reply.
"What website?" MSB asks.
"Our company website. The project we have been talking about for a few weeks now."
"Oh."
"We found a website designer guy who seems to be very good."
"At what?" she asks.
"At designing websites."
"Which website?"

Meeting ends at 7:17 pm. It feels good to accomplish so much.